Are your Self-Preserving?
Self-Preservation is the act of maintaining, protecting, or keeping something in existence – a basic survival instinct. We are taught this every time we fly – ‘Put on your own oxygen mask first, then help others.’ Yet how many of us have actually paid attention to the message and applied it to our own lives? The way to “save others” is saving yourself first! Sometimes what we think is self-preservation can be self-destructive behavior and a coping mechanism.
It can be selfish to operate in survival mode and not choose to become our best self! “Healing is not ‘fixing’ yourself; it’s discovering yourself. You were never broken, just coping.” Dr. Nicole LePera. Are you coping?
This is where my real work began. I spent a lot of my time and energy on ‘helping others’ navigate and solve their problems.’ This happened as I hid from my own and neglected to change myself along the way. This was partially intentional too — as it gave me an escape to divert my attention away from what I needed to tend to on the inside. “If an egg is broken by an outside force, life ends. If broken by inside force life begins. Great things always begin from the inside.” Unknown. It can sometimes reflect our own lack of self-confidence and of course is self-preservation.
Much of our behavior stems from believing we are helping others and, unfortunately, it can be preventing us from helping ourselves.
Examine your behaviors:
Have I put on my mask first?
What am I afraid of losing?
How am I hiding?
Do I feel I need to prove something?
Most of us have these tendencies in some way or another. Our actions can show up as empathetic with a desire to help heal others. Stop and ask yourself are if you preventing others from doing the inner work they need to heal? Or are we coping with our own frailties?
Self-preservation is one of the most important gifts we can give to ourselves. By knowing our limits, honoring our needs and desires, and taking the time to heal and repair ourselves, we can give ourselves the ability to truly help others.Contact me to find out how.
“Ask yourself if what you’re doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow?” Paulo Coelho
