Judgementalism

Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances. Wayne Dyer

Judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement. Sim Bolivar

The definition of being judgmental is having or displaying an excessively critical point of view. We've all been there--confronted by a situation that simply should be different. Someone has clearly done something wrong, and the result is terrible. It is at this time that we have a choice. silent and listen are comprised of the same letters yet in times of chaos and stress are seldom our first reactions.

Words and thoughts are powerful and our what "should" be, who is "right" and "wrong" and name calling--whether of yourself or others--can have a significant impact on our emotional well-being. A Mindfulness Magazine article found that the participants who rated highest on being nonjudgmental also had lower levels of depression, anxiety, and stress related symptoms. The study examined different facets of mindfulness, including observing, or attending to thoughts, feelings, perceptions, or sensations; describing or labeling; acting with awareness; non-reactivity to inner experience, and non-judging of experience.

Responding to events, thoughts, words, and feelings non-judgmentally is not easy. Non-judgmentalism is acknowledging the circumstances, feelings, or sensations without engaging in opinions and evaluation. It is about accepting the reality of a situation and sticking to the facts in both your words and thoughts. It is Mindfulness personified! 

Do you think the world might be different if we were able to do this?

I believe mind health coaching is the answer, and even self-coaching can help – here are some tips:

·      Self-awareness – Listen to yourself. Is there a mismatch between your intentions and how you show up in the world?

o   Develop and write your core values and determine if your feelings match them.

o   Check in on and name your feelings regularly - where do you feel them in your body?

o   Request feedback from a trusted source.

o   Reflect on times you experience feelings. What is their underlying cause?

·      Self-reflection

o   Examine patterns, strengths, weaknesses, ambition.  Meditate on each.

o   Schedule time on your calendar to pause and reflect.

·      Question Yourself

o   Consider replacing closed questions with open ended questions.

o   Recognize when you make other people responsible for your circumstances.

o   Determine who could give you insights to tackle your challenge?

o   Watch your words – Why do I always… I am exhausted… I’m so stressed…. Essentially shuts off our mind or it’s unable to interpret use of contractions, future tense, and all-encompassing statements.

Structuring a coaching session can elicit more feedback, greater mental clarity and create faster results.