Emotionally Charged Moments
Have you ever had an emotionally charged moment with a collogue, friend or family member that you wish you could have a do over? And try as you might to prevent it from happening in the future, it reoccurs!
Over the top emotions are essentially communications from our past. By age seven, 50-70% of our personality is formed. We created it, and when we try to change it, that old ID creates an opposite pull, dragging us back into the same behaviors. It becomes an internal conflict loop. A new focus can begin to create a new reality, however that reality fights with your experience repeatedly. Generally, if a trauma had been experienced, fixing it on your own does not work.
Try this to lower the level of those emotionally charged moments in the future. Relax, close your eyes, and ask and answer the following questions:
When am I triggered?
What is this emotion about?
Where does it come from?
Are what others have said to me what triggers me?
What am I feeling in the moment?
Where in my body do I feel it?
Rank the emotion on a scale of 1-10.
Understand that you are not the emotion (i.e., I’m angry). The emotion is tied to your personality that you created. The good news if you created it, it can be uncreated!
Go for what you want! Don’t try to solve/overcome your negative beliefs. This begets a world where we aren’t living a life we love. If we do this, we are projecting in our mind that there is something wrong with me, and I must solve it before I can move on. This is generally based in the belief that we are incomplete or limited in our belief systems.
When should we start? NOW = No Opportunity Wasted
Gain greater control of your emotions and habits using my five R’s:
Recognition – being mindful and aware of thoughts.
Reflection – observing and examining deeply the cause of your actions.
Reframing – considering how you could say or do it differently.
Refocusing - your thoughts to a positive perspective.
Referencing – remind yourself how far you have come.
For the next two weeks, notice what triggers you. Make a list.
Learn how to not allow the external circumstances to affect your internal feelings. How do I choose every day to become the person I want to be?
Find out how by using my 5 R’s today.
