PERPETUATING THE NEGATIVE

As someone who loves to give others advice, I do realize how hard it is to take it for myself and sometimes others. Maybe the hardest times for me is what I have termed Trash Talk or negative self-talk. A couple of areas where I still need work are when I forget to do something, or when I do something wrong, or after a bad shot during my round of golf.

 The problem is when you think or speak it – you are creating issues at the Subconscious level. Your Subconscious operates at a speed of 50 million bits per second. This basically means in the moment you speak it your subconscious instantly connects all of the times you have had something similar happen to you and correlates it. Therefore, reinforcing the action. In golf, as in life, you do not want to reinforce bad actions!

 My instructor told us that your subconscious mind acts like the genie in the bottle. The genie doesn’t give a rip about right or wrong, worthy or unworthy. The genie only wants to fulfill the wishes of the conscious mind, or the master. Whenever or whatever you consciously speak, whether you know it or not, you are directing the genie for good or ill and reinforcing a belief about it.

 You are extending the problem by saying things like: “I am depressed.” “I am exhausted.” “Why do I always ….” The self-inflicting outcome results eventually in:

• Low self-esteem

• Anxiety and depression

• Stress

• Procrastination

• Relationship problems

• Physical health issues

• And has a significant impact on our mental and emotional well-being

So, what can we do? Implement my 5R’s for better decisions:

Recognize – Be Curious: Notice when negative thoughts arise.

Reflect – So what: Practice Mindfulness – stays in the moment without judgement. Meditation – focuses on pondering the issue.

Reframe – What if: Instead of "I can't do this," say "I’ll do my best."

Refocus – This works: On what you reframed, directed, with intentional attention, emphasis – it’s a constant process.

Reference – I did that: Celebrate the journey and the times you did “it” right in the past, find support.

Engage in Self-Care:

• Prioritize your well-being: Make time for activities you enjoy.

• Take care of your physical health: Exercise, eat well, and get enough sleep.

• Accept imperfection: Everyone makes mistakes.

• Focus on progress, not perfection.

So, if you want to change the way you feel and behave – address your Trash Talk!