Expectations

Your expectations, more than anything else in life, determine your reality. When it comes to achieving your goals, if you don’t believe you’ll succeed, you won’t.

Our expectations impact other people too. Harvard research demonstrated the power of our beliefs in swaying other people’s behavior. When teachers in the studies were told that certain (randomly selected) children were smart, those kids performed better, not only in the classroom, but also on standardized IQ tests.

Indeed, we get the most out of other people when we believe in them. We treat them better than people we think will fail, give them more opportunities, give them more feedback, and we do more coaching because we believe it’s time well spent.

Letting our doubts cloud our belief in someone (or something) practically ensures their failure. Patients who have low expectations for medical procedures or treatments tend to recover more slowly or not as well.

Your expectations shape your reality and change your life, emotionally and physically.

·      Life should be fair.  A surprising number of us subconsciously expect life to be fair. It’s time to get over it. Take actions that will make a difference.

·      Opportunities will fall into my lap.  Just because you deserve a raise, a promotion, or a company car, doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. You must make it happen.

·      Everyone should like me.  Instead of expecting that people will like you, focus on earning their trust and respect.

·      People should agree with me.  Your obvious thoughts might not be the same for others with different experiences and a different agenda. Focus on how you can find win/win solutions.

·      People know what I’m trying to say. People can’t read your mind, and what you’re trying to say is rarely what other people hear. Take the time to understand the other person’s perspective.

·      I’m going to fail.  Pursue an endeavor, believe with all your being that you’re going to succeed in that endeavor. Celebrate small, simple triumphs on the journey.

·      Things will make me happy. Things can make life more fun and comfortable in the short run, but they can’t make you happy in the long run. If you don’t fix what’s going on inside, no external event or item is going to make you happy.

·      I can change him/her. You can only truly change—yourself—and even that takes a tremendous amount of effort. Build your life around genuine, positive people, and avoid problematic people that bring you down.

Believing that you’ll succeed really does make it more likely that you will. Having the proper tools makes it easier.