ARE YOU DIFFERENT?
Last week I began a series on our three threats to who we truly are: Unworthy/Not Enough, Different/Defective, Can’t Achieve/Attain. We focused on worth. This week is on being different/defective.
Realize each may appear as something else and having a deeper discovery of ourselves can allow us to rewire our thinking to become more.
Some of our feelings are real, and some are imagined. At my age I have simply missed my window of becoming a professional athlete!
But many of us have missed our window because of perceived societal expectations – how we look, act/or don’t act to the standards of others going beyond peer pressure. Measuring up is an issue that can come from trauma, repeated failures or setbacks, depression/anxiety, or a lack of self-acceptance.
Not comparing ourselves is a tough one. We constantly are exposed to idealized versions of others which can create unrealistic expectations of ourselves and lead to disappointment and lead to negative self-talk and self-criticism. The constant comparison facilitated by societal norms can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Striving for perfection can lead to feelings of failure when goals are not met.
It's important to remember that these feelings are common, and that everyone experiences them to some degree. Understanding the underlying causes can help individuals develop strategies to cope and build a healthier self-perception.
Feeling different and its challenges, especially in societies that value conformity (conformity bias). Fitting in or feeling that we are not accepted can lead to feelings of isolation, loneliness, and low self-esteem.
The fear of being rejected or judged can prevent people from embracing their individuality.
It can make it difficult to find a sense of belonging or connection with others. (A major hidden issue for businesses.)
Overcoming comparison and feeling different tips:
Mindfulness and Meditation - staying in a non-judgmental present moment and reducing your Trash Talk.
Cultivating self-compassion involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding.
Recognizing and celebrating your accomplishments, no matter how small.
Connecting with others who share similar interests or experiences.
Reframing negative thoughts and refocusing on the newly created thoughts.
Understand better the challenges others struggle with like: feelings of inadequacy or difference due to societal pressures, personal experiences, or mental health conditions. Intentionally shift your perspectives and step towards improved well-being. But be patient, with understanding, and find support and start seeing yourself in a more positive light.