Gaining Your Voice

Do you feel safe in being you? Do you hold back on expressing that part of you that allows you to communicate authentically?

Acquiring your voice means learning to express yourself confidently. A lack of confidence and fears generally stem from childhood – 75% of your self-esteem comes from before you were age 8. Most did not have our voice at that time due to authority figures who, perhaps with the best intention, molded our thoughts and actions into what they believed we should say, do and be, rather than coaching us to think critically and be responsible for our actions.

But with awareness, practice, and perseverance, you can regain your voice. To start:

• Identify and focus on your values and why they are important to you, not your fear. 

• Understand that by speaking up it can pose a problem for people because it involves something called “social threat.” Domineering people are not used to others challenging them. Choose your battles and use wisdom, keep it personal to you about your feelings, be kind and not confrontational.

• Change your Trash Talk - self-criticism.  Replacing negative self-talk by recognizing it’s cause and reframing it.

• Take deep breaths to calm your nerves and relax your body.

• Make eye contact and smile. It makes you look and feel more confident and engaged.

• Be prepared by knowing who you truly are.

• Don't be afraid to ask for help. 

 Having your voice allows your true inner being to emerge. It reassures you that, even though you make a mistake, you are not the mistake. It expands compassion for yourself to learn that everything, even our mistakes, can be turned into gifts and opportunities by the way you respond to them. When we become less defensive, or emotional we become more likely to take a good look at our mistakes and explore what really happened and how we might change it.

Understand that by acquiring your voice, you can rise above the fray and resist getting carried away by the drama and tension of the moment. Your perspective on any challenge is that you are embracing the gift and opportunity that you are facing. Begin by approaching everything with great curiosity and an open mind with compassion, understanding and greater awareness which will align with your values and purpose.

Practice your voice with wisdom and courage. Consider joining us in our MindStretch Mastermind Groups in January.