What do you do with Anger?
This is the first of a three-part series on anger – 1. What Do I Do with Anger? 2. Why are some people more prone to anger than others? 3. What can we do about our anger?
Anger is something I am working on so what better way to improve on it than to write about it. Anger an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes. When you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.
Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or other events can also trigger angry feelings.
Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats. Tt inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.
On the other hand, physically lashing out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us or responding to laws and social norms can place limits on how far our anger can take us.
People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing, and calming.
Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you must learn how to make clear what your needs are, and how to get them met without hurting others. It means being respectful of yourself and others.
Anger can be suppressed and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive. The aim is to inhibit or suppress your anger and convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger is your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside.
The goal of anger management is to reduce both your feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You may not be able to get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions. Contact us to find other ways to deal with anger and other emotions.
