Why are you so Defensive?
In football there is a saying that “Sometimes the best offence can be the best defense.”
In our lives some of the best-known defense mechanisms have become a common place.
Defense mechanisms can be both good and bad. They can serve a helpful role by protecting our ego from stress and even provide a healthy outlet. In other instances, these defense mechanisms might hold us back from facing reality and can act as a form of self-deception and really affect others.
Some of these defenses can be more helpful than others. For example, utilizing humor to overcome a stressful, anxiety-provoking situation can be an adaptive defense mechanism. But, we all know it can be taken too far – sarcasm usually is a double-edge sword. If you notice that overuse of certain defense mechanisms is having a negative impact on your or others’ lives, consider looking into it more thoroughly or seeking help.
Some common Defense Mechanisms:
Displacement – When a person redirects a negative emotion from themselves to others. Having a really bad day at work and then go home and take out your frustration with family and friends? It often occurs subconsciously—the person committing it sometimes not even aware they are doing it.
Projection - Involves taking our own unacceptable qualities or feelings and ascribing them to other people. If you have a strong dislike for someone, you might instead believe that they do not like you.
Rationalization – It might involve explaining an unacceptable behavior or feeling in a rational or logical manner, avoiding the true reasons for the behavior. A student might blame a poor exam score on the instructor rather than their own lack of preparation.
Denial - Probably one of the best-known defense mechanisms, used to describe situations in which people seem unable to face reality or admit an obvious truth (e.g., "He's in denial").
There are many more defensive postures, however if any of these maladies ring true with you. Realize that we are many times affecting others more than we think. It might be time to do something about it.
